History repeats itself

The most memorable but scariest thing is to watch someone on their death bed and even more scarier is to watch a family member on their death bed. Thankfully i haven't experienced any of that sort of thing yet but who  knows, you know? I sometimes wish that the world was a better place and that no one would die but then again there are people who deserve to die like if we had infinite lives those people should die like Hitler and Osama Bin Laden. People like that deserve to die and i know that makes me sound like a satanist or some weird stuff like that but if to think those people were alive right now or things happened differently what kind of world could we live in right now.

The question i ask is what if Hitler won? What kind of world would exsist?Would people of different race,sexuality and age be separated or would only the white race exsist?

Who knows but all i know is that we shouldn't worry about the past but we should choose to remember it so that the bad things don't happen again!

Don't forget what happened remember because as i once heard someone say "History only repeats itself if you choose to forget"-unknown

Thats where i will leave you will see ya

Valentines (Part 1) Movie/show

Valentine

Mary:She was always a catch she was funny she laughed along at all my jokes. She was really fun to be around. That was until everything spilled out! She told me things beyond imagination and belief. At first i thought she was just kidding around, i really did .... but to be honest you never know with her, ... you just gotta keep moving forward and try not to spill out her nasty secrets to another soul.

Courtney: why don't you tell me these strange secrets you heard from her.

Mary: well i can't secrets are secrets!

Courtney: she's dead for goodness sake! Just tell me. It's all confidential and i won't tell a living soul if its the last thing i do. I just want to help. Sometimes sharing things makes you feel better.

Mary: i don't know hmmm ..... do you think i should?

(Courtney nods)

Well... i guess i have wanted to get it off my chest. It all started June, at hot summer day at brighton peer. It was a beautiful day. We went into her little cottage and she the room was bright, you could hear slight music play on record player and it was jazz and there was a lady with a smooth voice singing a beautiful song. She walked up to the record player and lifted up the music thing so that it could stop playing. I sat down.

Valentine: would you like a cuppa?

Mary: it's way to hot for that Valentine dear. Why don't you get me some juice.

Valentine: alright, wait here i'll be round in a few seconds.

(Valentine walks out the room and Mary sits down looking around the room, first at the clock then the all the sea shells and little artifacts and then she looks at the sea through the windows and then sun. Then Valentine comes back in with two glasses of orange juice.)

(Valentine sits down and takes a sip out of her juice and puts it down and starts to speak.)

Valentine: so what brings you here?

Mary: can't a mother come see her baby girl?

Valentine:well yeah?... but you've never been here and as you can see i'm not a baby or a girl anymore i'm a woman. 

Mary: Valentine, I've missed you.

Valentine: then why did you leave?

Mary: i don't know dear. Things weren't going well and i needed some time to myself i needed to be able to be a better person. You know i had a drug addiction!

Valentine: I felt though like i couldn't talk to you!

Mary: dear, im sorry, i was stupid! I had you young and i wasn't ready and i had to marry your dad and he wasn't really the best role model but he was your dad and everything got too much so i couldn't take it! I should'ave been a better mum. I should'ave i wish i was there to see you take your first steps to see you dance to see you go to school or cook for you solid foods for the first time. I wish i saw all that, but i was stupid and young and once i realized i was being a burden i left.

Valentine: well, mum... im mean Mary, there is something i'd like to tell you. I aven't told anyone so don't spill. See i don't want him to go to jail.

Mary: what dear! what happened! whats going on!

Valentine: well, when you left! I had to fend for meself! I was my own child. Dad became a drinker and always drank everytime! I was very painfull! He would get really mad and attack me physically and mentally. He would call me names and then slap me and punch me. I cried every night! You always used to say that if i was crying and i looked up at the moon you'de be somewhere also looking at the moon and you'de be able to hear me cry and you'de come and help me! You never did! I CRIED FOR YOU MUM! I SAID "MUM! HELP ME! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" You never came for me. (sobs)

Mary: oh Valentine, I've been the worst person ever! I really have. I know sorry won't make up for it and all the lost time but i am sorry. Maybe if i was there i would have stopped him but i wasn't and im really sorry babe i am. I really am. I'm being dead honest.

Valentine: (wipes tears) it's okay, you were just trying to sort yourself out. It just took longer than expected. It's fine. I just want to go to sleep now. I don't feel well.

Mary: before you go, what happened to your dad?

Valentine: This lady was luckily walking past our house in the middle of the night when i was being attacked by him and i presume she was going to some kind of party and she called the police they showed up kicked the door down and sent me to a care home and put him in jail. While i was there i did jobs and things and saved up the money and i moved to Brighton and bought this stunner of a house. 

Mary:okay, and where am i sleeping?

Valentine: oh? there's a guest room to the left and some towels. If you want anything to eat just call up a take away or get some food from the kitchen. Don't eat the cheese. In fact will you throw it away for me?

Mary: sure love, will do. Good night then,

Valentine: goodnight.

(goes to her bedroom turns off the light. its dark,)

TO BE CONTINUED

Searching for Luck

(This story is copyright so anything i have written on here is mine and mine only. you can read it to others but cannot claim this story as yours or you will be fined.)

Why does it have to happen to me? Why not to anyone else! Why am I the unlucky one who constantly has to go through things? Is it a thing that runs in my family? My mum died when I was 4 she died of cancer. Firstly she started not coming home and daddy said she was in the hospital and she had cancer but she would survive. I knew he was only trying to look out for me but it didn’t work. It just made me feel worse when she eventually died. I ended up in a deep depression state which was rather odd for someone of my young age. I was close with my mum, we did everything together well except from school. She was fun and would play mind games with me thinking that I didn’t understand what she was doing but I did, I was just letting her say whatever cause it was funny. We had the perfect mother daughter relationship.

A few years later when I was about 8 my brother got cancer too it was a brain tumor and he died also and a little after so did my older sister. I was very destroyed and didn’t know what to do? What if my dad died or I did! My dad couldn’t live without me especially having to take care of Abby. By the way Abby is my cousin, her parents died in a car crash a few years ago.  We have had to take care of her after wards. Anyways back to the story, practically all my family is gone and me and dad are the only ones left, the only survivors.  It’s been sad but you have to move on from it.  I have cancer too I just have told anyone yet. I will be getting chemotherapy soon and leaving school for a while because my dad doesn’t want me in a dangerous area. Abby doesn’t understand it and the only other person other than dad and Abby who know are the school head master.

My dad has been over protecting over me since we found out. He doesn’t want what happened to mum to happen to me. Sometimes I just want to kill myself. I end up starving myself from depression and sometimes even self harm myself. I just want to stop this continuation of cancer in my family. They say be strong! How the fuck am I supposed to be strong when I don’t even have a family to love me.  In school they call me attention whore because when I get depressed and starve myself I start to have pains and run out of lessons. They think that I am just joking and it’s hilarious. Most of the time it’s the cancer though.  I just never know how to live or what will happen next. Since I found out I was probably gonna die I picked up a notebook and wrote out things I wanted to do before I died. Unfortunately my dad found and he was heartbroken. At first I was confused and then I realised that it was a wakeup call for him. I was probably gonna die and there was no way he could change that. The worst thing about it was he thought that I wanted to die and leave him with Abby and no family.

I didn’t want to die of course not but life is a fucking disappointment and there was no way I can survive. It’s sad though but except for my dad what do I have left? I don’t have any friends and I don’t know what I wanna be in life so it seems like a win, win situation right? I can’t live up to anyone, no boys like me and I am ugly. Every day I dream of suicide like is the other world better but I never do. No matter how scared I am of this world I am more scared of dying basically the fear of the unknown. I don’t want to die especially painfully. They say that dying is quicker than sleeping but how would you know? No one in the world has ever died before that obviously been on records. The only scary thing about cancer is dying and leaving everyone else behind mourning of your death, wishing you were still alive. Dying and killing someone from heart break. No matter what I fight cancer away because I can’t leave my father and Abby alone! My father wouldn’t manage I mean he is getting older so they’d probably take Abby away if I wasn’t there and put him in and Abby in homes. I can’t die! I won’t let myself.

I guess you could say that I have to really do a lot; I mean there is a lot of pressure under me. I have to keep my father and Abby alive. I had to get a job when I was really young just help my dad pay the bills a little. When my mother died we could cope just a bit because she had left some money for us but it didn’t last for more than a year. Then after we had to take care of ourselves. We couldn’t really afford getting any medication for my dead family so we used most of the time my mother left but the sad thing is they died anyway. My dad said that we should just do a little ceremony for them but I said they had to have a proper goodbye. I didn’t want them to die in vain the least they could have was a proper body case and a proper burial, I mean I would want the same thing.

I stopped going to work once I got cancer because I was at the doctors getting tests a lot. I didn’t have time to go to work. I think I might have lost my job because I didn’t tell them I had cancer. I couldn’t! Mary the person who I worked for was nice but she was a blabber mouth, if I told her three continents would know by the end of the week and I didn’t want that. I wanted to see who my real friends were. Who would only care about me when they found out I had cancer. There were many of them because they treated me worse because I was losing hair. They would say I have a bald hair cut and would ask me tonnes of stupid questions about my hair. Only one person noticed I had cancer and she didn’t know me and she was a random person on the street. It’s hard being extremely  unlucky! I hate it I hate it!

things have been difficult in my life because i have a crush on someone way out of my league there also things going on that people would fail to understand. Life is a two way street you could choose to go to the direction of emptiness, sad souls tears failure and more but we can also choose to follow the road of happiness, kindness, forgiveness.

Life is too short to think that this is hard i am gonna quit! we need to go for our dreams, climb mountains, swim through the deepest sea to get to the place we really belong to find home.


 so pick a road. do you want your road to lead you to success or faliure.